Disclaimer: this is going to get a teency bit explicit so if you’re a family member or somebody whom is entirely uninterested/disgusted by other people’s sex lives, please stop reading now!
I’m starting this blog off on a bit of a strange one!
I know i know, you’re thinking “Lora, you’re always strange with your blogs?”
But seriously, it’s odd even for me, but also kind of necessary for this short story to make sense.
In 2011-2012, i was a lesbian. I broke up with my boyfriend (let’s call him B) just after New Years because – i’ll be honest – i wasn’t enjoying the sexual side of things. B tried his best and i don’t have any ill feelings to him about it, nor do i want to make him feel embarrassed! We were both pretty inexperienced and young, but even taking that into consideration….it juuuust…wasn’t working. Bits were not finding their way into other bits correctly and i – as a teenage girl – assumed it was something wrong with my body and became adamant that i wasn’t suited to heterosexual sex, and therefore must be a lesbian.
Obbbbviously it was also partially due to my growing lack of patience for boys. As we all know, teenage boys can be prone to being quite immature and none i’d met were looking for anything serious. Teenage and early-20’s girls however, were slightly more grown up.
So i told everyone i was gay and that was that. I had a couple of homosexual relations, the longest lasting 8 months.
Don’t get me wrong, i never pretended that i was going to be a lesbian forever. I knew that it was likely that one day i would decide to give heterosexual relations another go, but for the time being i was happy to identify as a lover of women.
Flash forward to September 2012, i spent a week with friends getting astonishingly drunk, slept with one of my guy friends and boom! Realised i definitely wasn’t gay, i just hadn’t clicked properly with anyone sexually!
A month or two later and i was dating another guy friend (let’s call him S). It had developed into a proper relationship and i stayed over either at his house or a friend’s with him around once a week. It was at the point where i realised i needed some kind of semi permanent birth control. With B, we had used condoms whenever we fooled around but i’d never gotten on well with them.
I decided to visit the nurse at my GP surgery and chat about some contraceptive options!
Being the lazy soul i am, i knew i didn’t want to travel to the hospital for the implant, and i had been put off the Pill by my step-sister’s weight gain and skin troubles, so it really only left me with the Depo-Provera injection (click the link for more information).
I was given a leaflet explaining the side effects and possible complications. The biggest worry was the risk of bone thinning. I was told that this wouldn’t be an issue for me in the immediate future, so i signed up and booked in for the following week.
The first shock was that i walked into my appointment expecting to be injected into my arm, only to be told to remove my leggings!
My surgery was a 10 minute walk from my house and it was weird as hell walking back. My entire leg ached, especially around the injection site on my butt, and i’m pretty sure i was waddling.
A couple of weeks later and i was a mess. My skin was the worst it had ever been – covered with huge, painful spots. But the mood swings were the worst.
I’m not sure whether i would’ve been diagnosed with BPD back then, but i suffered with mood swings even before the injection. The Depo-Provera just transformed me into a crazy, illogical, angry girl who was utterly miserable and managed to destroy her relationship, thus ending the entire reason for getting contraception in the first place.
I had the injection once more before accidentally ending it. Basically i went in to check when my next appointment was and found out it should’ve been about 2 months ago! Time management in my personal life isn’t a skill i possess.
And so that was the last time i dabbled with hormone based contraceptives!
In my following relationships, we used condoms, and currently i don’t use anything!
I know what you’re thinking, i must be crazy or trying to get pregnant. I’m neither of those. Okay… i am crazy… but the point still stands.
Currently i track my cycle using the Fertility Awareness Method, have educated myself on when it is unsafe to have sex and work with those limits. This isn’t something i would recommend for everyone to start doing, i’ve been tracking it since 2015 and i’m happy that i know it well enough to judge safely and correctly. It’s more than just knowing your cycle length, you check cervical mucus and temperature. I’ll be honest with you, i don’t check my temperature! I’m lazy and i rely on the fact that i can tell most months when i’m ovulating. Ovulating causes me a small amount of easily identifiable pain, and when i check it against where i am in my cycle, i usually find that i’m spot on for my estimated ovulation day or a day either side of it.
However i’m not advocating this and if you want to be safe, learn how to do this properly and take temperatures too!
For me, hormone based contraceptives definitely aren’t worth it. Fortunately i’ve heard countless success stories for the implant, the coil, the Pill, for every contraceptive you can imagine. The important thing is to find what works for you. Test things out, educate yourself and hear the opinions of others. The internet is a wonderful library – use it for something informative!
If you’re willing, share your favoured method of contraception and why in the comments below!