I started this blog in a very dark place in 2015, looking for somewhere to escape.
I’d originally meant to keep it to positive posts only, mainly body positivity. Y’know, the kind of stuff i was cool with sharing on Facebook for any bugger to read.
I won’t say that plan got scrapped……………okay….yeah..it got scrapped. Ripped to pieces by my melancholy soul and unbearable need to overshare.
I guess i did something right as there’s somehow over 70 of you! That’s certainly not going to win any awards for “biggest blog” or “top blogger 2018” but i’m honestly still pretty shook anybody reads this (besides my Mum and Tom, hi you two!)
Aaaaand on the topic of awards, the lovely theeverydayalternative has nominated me for the 2018 Liebster Award! Huge thanks and i can recommend checking out her blog, especially for those fans of goth subculture and alternative music.
I’ll be as honest as i always am on here – i didn’t have a bloody clue what the award was until i checked out this page. It explains it in some detail for anyone equally as clueless, but here’s the rules for those “tl;dr” folk:
- Thank the person who nominated you, and put a link to their blog on your blog.
- Display the award on your blog
- Write a small post about what makes you passionate about blog posting.
- Answer the 10 questions about yourself.
- Nominate 5-11 blogs and come up with 10 questions for them.
- List these rules in your post
- Inform the people/blogs that you nominated
First two are done, onto the third! This is pretty easy, i’ve always been open to the point of being in-your-face with my private life and sensitive issues. It’s probably linked to my lack of self identity, so half the time it feels like i’m talking objectively about another person. Anyway, my blog soon became a place i could share anything without the worries of telling another person. My words were available to be read if someone wished to do so, but they didn’t have to deal with me one-on-one. I started off using it as a diary – useful because i can type nearly as fast as i can think but my handwriting is very slow and messy.
As the time passed and i gained more readers, it gave me confidence and a sense of support. It didn’t matter that most of you never interact with me, just your presence was enough to keep my going through the worst of my writer’s block, where all i could manage was a 200 word babble in the entire month.
Now i can look back on the past 3 years in more detail that i’ve been able to for years. I have proof of my moods and events i may have forgotten about. My yearly roundups are mostly for my own benefit, so i can recall what happened in which year. This is especially helpful since i’ve started struggling with memory problems.
It’s also helped just getting my words out of my brain. Putting them on paper (laptop) and posting them to the world is like drawing poison out of a wound. Before i started toolazytobegoth, i shut everybody out and repressed everything. Flash forward a couple of years and i was having panic attacks, self harming again after 5 years free and living without inhibitions (drinking excessively, unprotected sex etc), surprise surprise!
Overall, i think blogging is a wonderful medium. I really do believe it’s saved me from spiralling on several occasions.
RIGHT i’ve rambled on quite enough. Onto my questions!
- If you could travel anywhere in the world where would you go?
Oooo difficult, i’d say at the moment, Disney World. Not very inventive i know i know! I have my reasons. Tom and i want to go before we settle down and start having sproglets. I don’t want to be lugging a pram about or having to sit on bastard “It’s A Small World”. At least not until we’ve been by ourselves once.
- If you could visit a fantasy land from one of your favourite films, TV shows or books where would you pick?
Oh easy! Definitely Hogwarts/the AU of Harry Potter! I love GOT but noooo thankyou to being murdered/abused/married off. I’d be able to Avada Kedavra anyone that tried that in HP world.
- What food do you crave most often?
Hmmmmm probably chocolate! I have a sweet tooth but you can guarantee whatever we have in the house, be it savoury or sweet, i’ll be craving the opposite. If we have both, i’ll want sour.
- What job would you be absolutely terrible at?
Engineering! I was discussing this with Tom on our way home today. I’m not mechanically or mathematically minded so i’d last approximately 10 minutes before apologising for being too stupid and leaving.
- What is your favourite ice cream flavour?
If we’re talking Ben and Jerry’s, Phish Food! Regular standard flavours, mint choc chip is my go-to. I try and steer clear of anything with fancy colouring, my stomach already hates me!
- What would you do in a zombie apocalypse?
TERRIBLE! My only hope would be finding somewhere good to hide, and then my dumb ass would probably get claustrophobic and i’d leave.
- What song would you pay money to never hear again?
Thnks Fr Th Mmrs – Fall Out Boy. It’s been my alarm tone for over 4 years and i now hate it.
- Is there a quote you strive to live by?
My favourite quote i have tattooed is “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live”. Wise words from Dumbledore! Another recent favourite is “I figured out it was a social thing, what women were allowed to do. At a very young age, I decided I was not going to follow women’s rules.” I can’t remember the author of that one i’m afraid!
- Would you rather be able to fly or turn invisible?
Definitely turn invisible! Flying is cool but you’d have to contend with geese and i’d probably get attacked by a seagull or something equally as ridiculous. Being invisible would mean you could sneak into any gig or event, or if you’re as perverted as myself, attempt to catch a glimpse of your crush naked (obviously i’m not speaking about Tom here, i can see him naked any old time! 😉 I’m not sure where Jason Momoa lives but i’m sure i could find out….)
- If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?
An interesting one! Probably “are you happy?”
That’s all i’d want to know.
Right then, my nominees are as followsssss…….
Here’s the 10 questions i’ve created for you:
- What is the minimum amount of compensation (financial) you would accept in return for getting my face tattooed on your leg?
- What is the most unusual animal you would love to own as a pet?
- Which celebrity are you most likely to murder, given the opportunity?
- How many baked potatoes could you eat if you were really hungry?
- What is your favourite piece of modern technology and why?
- Who would you swap lives with, “Freaky-Friday style”, for 48 hours?
- When did you first try alcohol and what happened?
- What is your slightly-impressive-but-ultimately-useless party trick?
- Why do you believe Trump managed to get elected?
- If you won £1mil/$1mil but you had to spend it all within 7 days and only on yourself (no giving it away), how would you do it?
Looking forward to reading your answers! I’ll try and get in contact with y’all to let you know you’ve been nominated, but i’ve tagged your blogs on here anyway.