1.There comes a time where your Mum will get sick of booking your dentist/doctors appointments for you.
2. Time really does go faster the older you get.
3. You cannot survive on Pop Tarts and cheese.
4. School taught you nothing about renting houses and making your wages last the entire month.
5. Making your wages last even a fortnight will sometimes be a struggle.
6. Don’t stay up until 4am watching Netflix when you have work the next day. You will regret it.
7. Working 6 days in a row hurts but sometimes it’s necessary to make up for the fact that you spent your rent money on takeaways and vodka.
8. You also can’t survive on shop bought sandwiches and Coco Pops.
9. You might feel 14 forever but you will learn how to adult more over time.
10. Freshers aren’t getting younger, you’re getting older.
11. But yes, they are noisy, annoying children with ID.
12. Speak to your parents more, especially if you’ve moved out. They miss you.
13. Have lots of sex. Have some sex. Don’t have any sex. It’s your body. Just don’t let anybody try to tell you what to do with it.
14. You also don’t owe anybody your body. Not if they’ve spent £100 on dinner or bought you flowers and presents or promised to kill a man of your choosing if you consent. Okay..maybe that last one.. (kidding! I’m sure there’s another human out there you actually want to have sex with who will adhere to your murderous side).
15. Work sucks but it pays the bills. It’s also easier to find a new job when you have one.
16. But – if like me – you’ve spent time unemployed, don’t fret. Volunteer, go on courses, ask friends and family. You’ll get there.
17. Yes, a house takes a surprising amount of cleaning to keep it looking decent. And yes, it’s boring as fuck.
18. On that note, you will be spending the rest of your life washing clothes and dishes. Endless chores, urgh. Save up for a dishwasher and maybe a maid.
19. Take lots of photos. Have albums on Facebook, your computer or a hard copy. Separate by year.
20. Every body is a bikini body.
21. Use a condom. Pregnancy scares and STD’s aren’t sexy.
22. Spending 3 days in the same pyjamas without showering is ok. We all need time to fester. Just remember to get a good wash at the end of it and you’ll wonder why you didn’t do it earlier.
23. Save up what money you can and go on days out or holidays. Make the most of being young.
24. Don’t worry too much about the future, you’ve made it this far after all.
25. And lastly, don’t get so drunk that you throw up on your dress, your boyfriend’s tshirt and your hair. Also make sure you properly clean any sick up, especially if you’re abroad. Ants like puke a surprising (worrying) amount.