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Pressure

Writing a blog post while knowing who is going to be reading it makes me feel 15 again. I used to write absolute garbage on my first ever blogspot about what i’d been up to that day (i’ll provide an example for amusement: Interesting Thoughts)

Right now i should be in the shower but i’m a terrible procrastinator who thinks she can get ready in an hour and i’m also a little anxious because i’m meeting my boyfriend’s friends tonight. Socialising really takes it out of me, which is a bugger because my entire job revolves around small talk with complete strangers.

Last night was crazy.
Tom and i talked for hours about the most random things. I told him things i’ve never dared tell another soul, the very darkest of my secrets. I bullied him into letting me sleepover. I actually enjoyed being touched when i was half asleep and he was boiling hot and the room was stuffy.

All this feels so natural and i’m actually happy – not just okay, genuinely happy. I’m also terrified that something is going to go wrong. I’ve messed things up so often in the past.

I need to get a grip.
I really do like him.

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